Tuesday morning, it started like any other. I woke up, polished my Ray Bentley shrine, got dressed and headed in to the Beat Writers’ Headquarters. I quickly said my pleasantries to my fellow Beat Writers and stopped by Matthew Slinn’s office to chat about the latest signings that had been announced overnight. When I got to my office, something felt… different. As I took a step forward, I stumbled across a neatly folded piece of paper. I unfolded the paper and as I did, several small pictures fell to the ground. I immediately thought to myself, “Oh great, some scandal is about to erupt.” I picked up the picture and began to read the letter that was neatly placed inside,
“Dear Ryan Michaels,
I hope this Mock Draft finds you well. With the hype and the hullaballu of draft season among us, I thought there was no better time to mock us some rookies.
You may wonder who I am. I am a junkie, I itch for drafts year round. Drafting an essay, a nice breezy draft, draft beers and more importantly the SFL draft.
This mock uses all of the tools at my disposal. Informants, players position preferences, your beautiful Big Board and my own discretion of a players character.
Your Draft Darling
P.S. – After the pretty pictures I drew you, I wrote words into what I am being told are called sentences. Good luck.“
I immediately looked at the photos and laughed, “Scandal, no. But this will be so much better at causing mayhem within the SFL.”
So without further ado here is my “Draft Darling’s” mock draft,
1) New Orleans – Xander Gold – QB – It’s all in the name: Gold. Pharaohs love gold and they will love this Gold franchise QB.
2) Baltimore – Aman Takess – LB – Aman is a man’s man. You love to play with him and hate to play against him. He goes home to B-More and sees if the dog can bite as much as he barks
3) Las Vegas – Kody Hill – QB – Kody Hill finds a home after a long off season touted as the number one pick. He doesn’t fall far but he will be hungry to show why he should have been number one.
4) Dallas 2-10 – Junior Senior III – RB – There seems to be some connection here. This team and Junior Junior the Junior have been destined all off-season.
5) Chicago 3-9 – EZ Tempel – FS – Chicago makes an EZ selection here with an active DB waiting for a windy home.
6) London 3-9 – Marcus Dunhill – RB – Time to brush up on English slang mate and throw away the sunscreen. Invest in umbrellas and welcome to Abbey Road.
7) Carolina 3-9 – Thomas Ramen – CB – This may not be the position ‘Noodle’ Tommy wanted, but Carolina will take a strong locker room presence happily at seven.
8) St. Louis 4-8 – Hunter Jones – WR – St. Louis is a little low in the receiver area and Hunter fills that role nicely.
9) Vancouver 4-8 – Tank Bennett – FS – Tank is going to rumble into Vancouver and become a fast leader in a reloading Legion locker room.
10) Atlanta 5-7 – Mickey Martino – QB – Martino is going to try to be Marino for the Swarm-arino.
11) San Francisco 5-7 – JW Doyle – FS – A value pick here for San Fran at 11, they need high rating players to start filling this roster.
12) Oklahoma City 5-7 – Jeff Melinyshyn – CB – OKC is known to fill in the roster later than most teams. But with two CB roles assumingly open, Jeff is a great pick here.
13) Denver 7-5 – Gib Leedo – CB – The old Vaqueros grew wings and flew to Denver. They need a running mate across from BJ Armstrong and Gib fills that need.
14) Indianapolis 6-6 – BJ Loveless – LB – Indy gains a little love in their front seven with Loveless roaming sideline to sideline.
15) Queen City 7-5 – TM Gaines – WR – QCC is always a rubix cube made of championship trophies and mystery. They get a locker room positive with TM.
16) Tulsa 9-3 – EJ Decue – DE – Tulsa has one spot to fill and could go DE or TE here. EJ goes hunting for QBs in Tulsa’s back yard.
17) Houston 7-5 – Kentez Johnson – QB – The worst kept secret in the league is the behind the bleachers love here between Houston and Kentez.
18) Sioux Falls 9-3 – Ethan Kye – RB – With Redford moving to the desert, SXF needs a playmaker in the backfield. They get a fast riser here.
19) Tallahassee 12-0 – Nello Brown – DT – What do you get a team that had almost everything last year? Aside from a championship, you replace their DT that left in free agency
20) Alaska 10-2 – Colin Hart – RB – Alaska has been transparent about their need to take pressure off of Ron Cockren. They get a ball carrier with character at 20.
21) New Orleans – Markem Lopez – WR – Xander is gonna need a productive target and NO gets a league stat man and top target at 21.
22) Baltimore – Jason Williams – RB – Building a balanced attack could be the strategy here for expansion team Baltimore. They help that with Williams carrying the rock.
23) Las Vegas – Keith Swearingen – WR – Another expansion that needs to help their rookie QB. Keith becomes the top target for rookie Kody Hill.
24) Dallas 2-10 – Achilles Frank – WR – A run on WR continues as the newly resurrected Shabazz gets another pass catcher to spread the field.
25) Chicago 3-9 – Dupree Hudson – CB – Chicago fills out their back four of the defense with a quality DB to pair with EZ. Please make a buddy cop movie called EZ and Dupree.
26) London 3-9 – Royce Robbins – FS – Royce rolls into London’s defense to lead a new generation of overseas defenders.
27) Carolina 3-9 – John Blades – CB – Carolina goes double rookie CBs to fill the need. The only reason Blades falls here is position preference and fit.
28) Vancouver 4-8 – Siege Falco – RB – Vancouver needs a ground game to team up with Sanchez and create a two headed monster.
29) Atlanta 5-7 – Leroy Brown – CB – Atlanta hit the big one with QB early and now shores up the defensive backfield.
30) San Francisco 5-7 – Chad Guy – WR – San Fran rolling with one WR is not enough for their gold QB. He gets help here with the man, Guy.
31) Oklahoma City 5-7 – Jared McChesney – RB – I still think OKC has more to come in free agency but at this moment they fill the backfield.
32) Denver 7-5 – Matt Wolfe – DE – DE-nver, it’s all in the name. They need one to bring pressure to the QB and no better than to let a Wolfe loose in Mile High.
33) Indianapolis 6-6 – Julius Williams – RB – Indy gets Pepper a backfield mate and someone to keep the pressure off of him.
34) Queen City 7-5 – Clyde Peaches – SS – QCC likes their nickel defense and Clyde is versatile. You could plug and play him anywhere.
35) Houston 7-5 – Brett Funk – LB – Houston gets a man in the middle and gets a little bit Funk-ier doing it.
36) Sioux Falls 9-3 – Jay Ringgold – CB – SXF finds some gold late in the draft and shines him up at DB.
37) Tallahassee 12-0 – Jessie Vick – FS – Tallahassee fills the Vegas-sized hole in the center field of their defense.
38) New Orleans – Jon Gregory – TE – Our first TE off the board to give Xander more targets. Can’t go wrong there.
39) Baltimore – Shaka Hall – CB – Baltimore fills a position of need late and gets to Shaka Rattle and Roll this pick in.
40.) Las Vegas – Gerald Smith – WR – Vegas Keeps targets flowing for their new QB like money out of a slot machine on the strip.
Disclaimer: Since this draft was sent into the office, Gerald Smith has signed with the London Knights as Head of Scouting.
41.) Dallas 2-10 – Josh Ano – LB – Dallas fills the last spot on their roster with a Mcdaniel family replacement.
42.) London 3-9 – Hendrixx Thornberry – CB – The final spot in the draft goes to a more and more active user that London could use in their defense.